Someone Else
by HedwigBlack
Summary: Remus swears that there could never be anyone else in his life but Sirius. It's always been Sirius. And always will be. Right?


_For the last round of The Last Ship Standing Competition. No more Wolfstar for a while from me. *dies*_

_Prompts: someone must kiss someone else, adoration, This Kiss by Faith Hill- "How does love get so off course?"_

_As Strong As We Are United Prompt: Nymphadora Tonks_

_Also submitting this in The tearjerker challenge in hopes that I can make Chris cry… ;) _

_Word count: 1195_

* * *

You lean against the doorframe and watch Sirius attempt to hide a satisfied smirk as he unpacks the last box in his new bedroom. The Potters have been generous enough to give him a place to stay which is ideal for everyone, and you are determined to make the most of these few precious moments of privacy until James comes to join you.

As you survey Sirius' belongings strewn about his desk, a nagging thought overwhelms you. Your curiosity is piqued, and in the long run it probably won't matter, but you just have to know. And really, it's one of those questions you already know the answer to but you've never been that confident in yourself to actually believe it, so you ask him anyway.

"Sirius?"

"Hmm?"

You shift closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. "Was there ever- was there ever anyone else?" You can feel the blush rise to your cheeks as you keep talking, stumbling over your words. Normally, you pride yourself on being significantly more eloquent than this, but you press on anyway. "That is, I know there were a few… _someone elses_. But, well, you know what I mean."

Sirius smiles down at you in amusement. "No, love," he says reassuringly. "There was never anyone else. Not really. It's why none of the others lasted." He presses a soft, lingering kiss to your lips, threading his fingers through your hair. He whispers his next words into your mouth, unwilling to pull away just yet. "It was always you, Remus. Always you."

You let him kiss you again, more insistent this time. And any past _someone elses_ of no importance are completely forgotten as his hands slowly begin to wander into the back pockets of your jeans.

"Merlin, is this how it's going to be, then? Constantly walking in on the two of you snogging?"

You turn to smile guiltily at James in the doorway who is trying very hard to look as though he's disgusted, but of course, he isn't. There's a stubborn smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he shakes his head. Acting was never his forte. If it were, he'd be able to get out of detention more often.

Sirius only laughs and goes to put an arm around James' shoulder. "Ah, come on, mate. Celebratory snogs are the best kind, aren't they?"

"Yeah, well, just make sure I don't hear you…er…_ celebrating _later," James says, giving Sirius a meaningful look.

"You'll pay for that remark."

"Oh, will I?"

And with that, James slips out of Sirius' grip and they are out the door, and down the hall. You follow the sounds of feet running toward the door at a leisurely pace, the echo of _always you_ resounding in your head.

You think you might believe it.

* * *

He is so thin. You're sitting up in bed, and he settles himself in your embrace, his back pressed against your chest. You wrap your arms around the skeletal frame of his torso and you can feel every rib. You swear his shoulder blades could draw blood if you pressed hard enough. So, so thin.

"I missed this," you tell him.

His hands find their way to yours and he tangles your fingers together. "We'll just have to make up for lost time, eh?" he asks. He can't mask the weariness in his voice, can't pretend that this is all right. From where you're sitting you can't see the sadness in his smile. But you can feel it.

"Twelve years is a long time," you say.

"Do you think it's been _too_ long?" he asks quietly. "Are we just fooling ourselves?"

"Never." You pull him even closer and press kisses along his neck. "Never too long. I'd wait forever, you know."

He sits in silence for a moment, contemplating something. It's a little unnerving but you do your best to ignore this and continue to shower him with affection. You can practically taste the neglect on his skin, feel the despair leaking out of every pore. As your lips graze his jaw line, he turns to look you in the eye. "There was never anyone else?" he asks. "Not in all this time?"

You shake your head and smile. He really doesn't have a clue, does he?

"I've lived a rather solitary life," you explain. "I'm a werewolf, remember? Besides, I could never love anyone like I love you." You lean your forehead against his own, praying he understands, that Azkaban has started to loosen its hold by now. "I love you. You know that, right?"

He nods and swallows hard, but he can't help making a confession. "They made me believe you couldn't. You don't know what it's like in there, Remus. They got into my head. Said you'd never think of me as anything but a traitor. Said you could never love a traitor like me." He buries his face in your shoulder, taking a few deep but shaky breaths. You gently lower yourself to the mattress, pulling him down with you, whispering loving words into his ear. It's only a few minutes before he falls asleep in your arms right where he belongs, where he's always belonged.

"I missed this," you say again. And maybe it _has_ been a long time. Maybe everything is different now. But Merlin, how you've missed this.

* * *

You run your hand along the swell of her stomach and feel the growing life within kick against your palm. She will name him Teddy, she's told you. For her father.

Consequences have never been so permanent, you think. They've never meant this much. And as hard as you tried to run from this, of course, you knew in the end that you couldn't. And you tell her you are sorry, so sorry. And she says that she forgives you, but she doesn't know what you are really sorry for.

She slowly turns on her side with a little difficulty and reaches up to stroke your cheek. She smiles at you, and it is vibrant just like everything else about her, a blinding flash of brilliance and youth. And in this moment, you've never felt so old or so broken.

"I don't think I've ever asked you," she says. "Was there ever anyone else? You know… before me…?"

The question catches you off guard and for a moment you see a very Sirius-like look in her eye. It's a smug look that tells you she knows she's unnerved you. It hurts you in ways she can never know.

She can never know.

"Oh, come on…" she says lightly when you don't answer. "Always going on about how much _older_ and _wiser _you are. There must have been _someone_."

Someone. Someone else. But she can never know.

So you lie. There's nothing else for it. Your someone else is dead, and she is the only thing left to hold onto, and you are sorry, so very sorry, and she doesn't have a clue.

"No." You shake your head, and kiss her forehead. The baby kicks hard against your hand as though he is reprimanding you. "No. There was never anyone else."


End file.
